[实战分析]小Y的Profile诊断：资深专家的Overview和Portfolio如何优化到位

超哥，麻烦看下我的profile，还没有传上去的

https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~014019470b4938e567

I am a specialist in Sourcing & Procurement and more than two decade’s worth of experience in the highly competitive, fast developed Industrial manufacturing.
I have pursued a successful career in the industry, with a preference for the most demanding of its field, such as manufacturing suppliers, cost analysis & cost reduction, and relevant operation & management position and tasks.
My expertise includes working closely with suppliers, tracking production schedule, formulating quality improvement plan, cost analysis and investigation widely, establishing strong supply chain, and ensuring standardization of the output through detailed and comprehensive management packs.

What I have done past
– In 2019, due to the Sino-US trade friction, the impact of imported products on annual procurement cost decreased to 1.73% from 2.52%
– In 2018-2019, 5% cost reduction of PU materials, saving 185K RMB excluding VAT.
– In 2015 Polyurethane production line Introduction successful, led the completion of the overseas introduction of polyurethane production line equipment, including project budget and control, contract details, payment and logistics (including the second-hand equipment), import process control and customs response, China inspection and certification, on-site installation coordination, quality assurance tracking, etc.
– In 2007 cost reduction by 3% for material procurement, saving 4.3 million RMB.
……

So, in my consulting services, I seek to support you, whether an inventor, startup, or business, in creating a finalized and tested products ready for mass production, even if we begin only from an idea, description or vision. My approach is holistic, as I believe in specific customized services yielding to high- quality results with supply stable at the basis of significant cost reduction.

I am specialized in Industrial manufacturing, especially in:
• Procurement Strategy set up
• Parts Localization
• Procurement Process Control
• Cost Analysis & Cost Reduction
• Logistics Operation
• Material Resource Planning (MRP)

I will develop the pattern with the most efficient in costs, sustainable development, and high- quality for your business in communication close to make your vision a reality.

另外 我做了两个示范案例，请超哥点评下，谢谢！
https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~014019470b4938e567?s=1110580765719515136&p=1577219636936916992
https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~014019470b4938e567?s=1110580765719515136&p=1577226122537402368

Overview需要写正规的书面语言。

专业的用词，准确的语法是对别人的尊重，也是专业的体现。

在最大程度上减少语法错误，能够让你的Profile价值大大提升。

上面是我帮你做的语法自动检查，发现了十多个基本错误，把这些问题解决，文本质量就可以实现大大提升。

对话式文案

好的文案是对话式的。

这一点在你的文案中体现不错。

采用了不少过渡用词，行文是比较流畅的。

但建议优化的点，是更多采用You，your，而不是I，my

撰写个人介绍时，把这个过程想象成是在写给你认识的人。当然，不是很亲密的朋友。

就像是你在出席一个发布会，你需要和在场的人们当面介绍你自己。

对话式的文案是很有效的，你的读者会有读下去的动力。

写客户关心的东西

客户只对你的专业背景感兴趣，对你能不能解决他们的问题感兴趣。

在这个Overview中，总体来说，质量是很高的。

My expertise，What I have done，specialized部分，应该都是客户关注的。

尤其是，What I have done部分有非常明确的成功小案例、小故事，这是价值最大的部分。这些内容，也可以在你未来Proposal中根据需要不停复用。

优化建议：

未来持续进行复盘，针对你新发现的需求，和你自身的优势，不断调整拓展自我优势的表达，让它们能让客户眼前一亮、迫切想和你聊聊。